Saying that I am a relationship expert is, to put it plainly, a stretch. However, I have a blog, an opinion, and a significantly over-inflated ego, so I will not hesitate to make proclamations about how men and women should interact. Romantic advice is not what most guys who click on this site are looking for, but there is a significant aspect of home design that does apply to relationships.
What happens when a woman moves into your man-friendly space?
If I have learned anything from my extensive study of stand-up comedians (Questionable), it is that many of the items that a guy once called “his” are now called “tax-deductible charitable donations” after giving a girlfriend the keys. I wish this wasn’t the case, but many old couches, wall art, beer lights, and bobble-head dolls do not survive the drastic policy shift that goes along with any change of governance.
Men usually lose out after a woman performs her Machivellian takeover of “The space formally know as his”. The former Secretary of Defense, Spike the Snapping Turtle, gets exiled and the man of the house is reduced to a mere figurehead. He becomes a beaten down symbol of “the way things used to be before”. He’s left in place, but now only as a symbol/powerless figurehead. He walks around the house, no longer able to to make choices about which towel he wants to use or where the plates go. He becomes simply a warning to others that what they think is cool and hip “does not fit with the way we do things anymore”.
So why does this happen? To be brutally honest, IT IS MOST LIKELY BECAUSE YOUR PLACE LOOKED HORRIBLE!
This is why Spike is in exile you fu<#ing slob
The poster of John Belushi slugging a bottle of whiskey or the “LIVE NUDES!!!” sign you stole at 4 A.M. on St. Patty’s are not things that belong in your house after you get out of college. Once you become a professional and enter the workforce, there is no longer any reason to decorate your place with stuff you find on the side of the road. If you had your own style about the way your home should look, you wouldn’t be packing up your stuff and sending it to the Salvation Army.
I tend to get on women a lot (giggle) about the way they decorate, but the reason they get to do whatever they want in your place is YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE DOING! When well executed, a woman will probably like your “masculine” room better than what she would have done. A woman doesn’t want to spend a weekend in Home Depot picking out paint colors and spend $60 on paint supplies, it is simply a means to an end. What she wants is a comfortable space, if you have already created that, then there is no reason for her to change anything.
Once you know what you are talking about with home style, it ceases to be a hostile takeover and begins to become a merger. If you are not man enough to stick up for your principals and negotiate effectively, than it is your fault you have to shell out the cash for lace window treatments.
You cannot complain if you don’t have any better ideas. You have to figure out what it is you like and how to create such a space. Simply saying “I hate that” makes you sound like a sniveling 5 year old who doesn’t want to eat his vegetables. You need to be able to suggest and alternative. She wants a comfortable space, and if you cease being productive you will cease to have a choice. You have to either provide her with a workable solution or you give her exactly what she wants to the letter. Soon enough you are sitting on a floral bed spread in a violet purple bedroom with your arms crossed and a pout on your face. It could have been different if you had some vague idea what you were doing.
This is one of the reasons I began Homes4Men. I wanted to give you a vision so you have a point of negotiation. We can bitch and complain about the “LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE” picture frame, but if you don’t go to Home Goods with her and know what you are looking at, she will get whatever she wants.
Homes4Men is effectively doing all the work for you. All you have to do is read the posts and look at the pictures. Its easy to do, Left-to-right, Top-to-bottom. Whenever possible it is also a good idea to absorb an idea or two.
Because if your space gets conquered because of your own ignorance, it is your own fault.
Read Home4Men for Spike