Almost any guy can tell you in great detail the differences between a socket wrench, torque wrench, pipe wrench, and oil filter wrench. We can at least draw a picture of a claw, sledge, and finishing hammers and tell people when to use a belt sander versus a simple sanding block. We can walk through Home Depot or Lowes and feel completely comfortable picking out plumbing supplies and power tools.
However, when we walk through a Bed, Bath and Beyond, we are lost. Going there to pick something as simple as a blanket out can end with a man crying in a corner and drinking Bourbon straight out of the bottle. There is just to much. HOW THE HELL DID THEY OVER-COMPLICATE SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS SLEEPING?. Luckily for you, MAN-LAIR is going to sort through all the terms and develop a comprehensive glossary of bedding items you will run into. All the terms will have a link to Bed, Bath, and Beyond’s site so that you can click to see an example of the term.
NOTE: Some of these things confuse me as to why they exist and what they are, but I promise to do my best and you can harass me accordingly in the comments section.
Daybed: A bed with a “head board” on three of the four borders of a twin bed to make it mimic a couch. These are most common in guest rooms.
Foot Board: A smaller “headboard” at the foot of a bed.
Full: The second smallest bed size. Usually 54″x75″.
Headboard: The piece behind the bed typically used for decorative purposes. These can be upholstered, wood, wrought iron, or any other material a person feels like using.
King: The largest standard size for beds. These are usually 76″ x 80″
Queen: One of the two larger size beds that is more than double the average twin size. Usually 60″ x 80″.
Twin: A smaller bed usually around 39″x75″. Also known as “Standard bunk”. Two full grown people should not be sleeping on the same twin bed after college.
Bed Spread: A decorative cloth to cover a bed. It is not overly devoted to warmth and is used mostly in summer months.
Blanket: A covering without an interior layer of insulation made of a warmer material.
Comforter: A heavy blanket with a higher degree of insulation. Typically used during the winter months to keep a person warmer.
Coverlet: A quilt in a solid color and pattern.
Down Comforter: A heavier comforter insulated with goose down feathers for softness. These are almost universally sold in white for some reason I will never know.
Duvet Cover: A decorative covering made of down and goose feathers in a cloth “bag” that goes over a down comforter.
Throw Blanket: A smaller blanket typically used on couches. This is not large enough for even a twin bed.
Quilt: A warm bed covering made of padding enclosed between layers of fabric and kept in place by lines of stitching.
PILLOWS AND PILLOW CASES:
Body Pillow: the largest pillow on the market. These do not have “standard” sized the way queen and king pillows, but can measure as large as 20″ x 76″
Pillowcases: A fabric covering for your pillow that serves a decorative purpose and protects the pillow from skin oils that you sweat our while you sleep.
King Pillow: These typically measure 20″x36″.
Queen Pillow: Regularly measures 20″ x 30″
Shams: A decorative pillowcase that opens in the back rather than on the end of the pillow to appear as though the pillow was made with that fabric rather than added later.
Standard Pillow: The smallest full pillow that is not uses for decorative purposes. These are usually 20″x26″
Fitted Sheet: A sheet with an elastic band around the corners to keep it attached to the mattress.
Flat Sheet: A plain rectangular sheet which usually tucks under the mattress.
Futon Cover: Seeing as a futon is basically a large pillow, a futon cover is basically a giant pillow case that slips and zips over the futon mattress.
Sheet Sets: This depends on what the manufacturers want to include, but it is generally one flat sheet, one fitted sheet and two pillow cases.
Bed skirts and Dust Ruffles: A piece of fabric that goes around the base of the bed to cover whatever various items you have stuffed under there.
Canopy: A fabric that drapes over the entire bed similar to a mosquito net. These are purely decorative unless you plan on sleeping outside in the rain forest.