Weapons in The Home


Let me get a few things out of the way before the debate even begins. I am a guy and love weapons. I am not adverse to having a gun in the house or even a small collection of hand grenades underneath the barca lounger. Personally, in terms of home defense, I am a fan of owning a small trebuchet, not because they are particularly effective, but being the first person to kill a man with one in a few hundred years appeals to me.

Not the best way to defend your home, but always the most unexpected.

The question that needs to be discussed is whether or not weapons should be a staple of home decor or if you should just keep your your collection of shotguns and samurai swords under your bed.

Keep in mind if you have a small child or large drunks in the house, there is no reason to have a weapon that they can use within arms reach. After a dozen beers I can’t promise not to use the Katana to cut limes for tequila body shots. BE SAFE AND KNOW YOURSELF AND YOUR GUESTS.

The easy rule is that if it is an antique weapon, it is generally okay to mount one or maybe two on the wall. Antique weapons give you some air of old world sophistication. It is the kind of sophistication where you could kill a man for violating your sister’s honor with a duel in the courtyard, but sophistication nonetheless. Antique weapons (Call it anything pre 20th century) make you look like a collector and someone who is passionate about historical events.

Look at it this way. if you have a musket from the American Revolutionary War, you look like you really study history and have most likely have a passion for American ideals, not to mention that fact that you have a ton of extra cash to throw around. Hang it over your fireplace and drink a fine scotch in an antique leather club chair.

However, if you have a Mossberg Persuader of a Hecklar and Koch MP5 over your fireplace, you no longer seem “sophisticated”, you seem like you are going to start a para-military group in the woods so you can stop paying taxes.

Know the difference

Guns are not the only weapons that have invaded our living space. Swords, in particular samurai and broadswords have gotten popular in recent years and have seemed to have gotten their own “shrines” in our homes. If it is a weapon that has serious emotional value to you, say your grandfather’s sword from the marines or a shield with your family crest, a shrine might be called for. If it is simply a replica of Blade’s sword, however, it can give people the idea you have not emotionally developed beyond the age of 13. I like comics and superheroes as much as the next guy, but making your home a “world of fantasy” is a bit childish.

When it comes to weapons, DO NOT OVER DO IT. A Sword should be an accent piece, not the whole way you define a room. Buying a katana at a flea market does not mean you have to redo your entire bedroom to look like a Benihanna restaurant. Just because it worked for Chevy Chase in Caddyshack, does not mean it will work for you.

Overall, I urge you to keep it subtle. Owning a weapon does not make you “dangerous” or a “bad boy”. It makes you a person who happened to have money in your pocket and a nearby to a flea market. Keep the Kodachi blade off the coffee table.

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