Scourge of Masculinity: Throw Pillows

Let me step out on a limb here, beds are designed for sleeping. So when browsing various home design sites and looking for ideas for my new bedroom, I have become amazed by a simple trend that has gone way too far. Pillows.

Let’s be honest here. How many necks to you have that require support?

Looks like a great place to sleep if you are 3 feet tall

Now I am not anti-pillow. I am not going to go off the deep end and say “REAL MEN SLEEP WITH DEAD ANIMALS UNDER THEIR HEADS SO THEY CAN HAVE FRESH MEAT FOR BREAKFAST WITHOUT LEAVING TE BEDROOM!” or anything quite that insane. Despite how awesome and undeniably manly that would be, it is not realistic. The bacon will keep better in your freezer and will probably taste fresher if it doesn’t spend 8-10 hours rotting in 70 degree weather.

There is a happy medium for guys. I say to limit the bed to no more than four pillows. This is more than enough for you and whoever you may have invited over that night. Any more than that, you better be building a fort with a big “NO BOYZ ALLOWED” sign on the front. (I said “no boys” because more than 4 pillows cause me to question your beer slugging, meat eating, and SportsCenter watching credentials.)

Pillow forts are okay when they come with a cute 21 year old.

So why four? The answer is simple, one for your neck, and one for your knees/back/feet or wherever else you may want extra support. Multiply these two pillows by two people and you have the suggested four pillows. Any more than that and you are over doing it. They will just end up on the floor and you will have to go around on a scavenger hunt every time you make your bed.

How often do you really plan on using that 8″x8″ pillow anyway? In a man’s house, if it doesn’t preform a function get rid of it. Those little “decorative pillows” are pretty worthless when it comes to sleeping and have no place in your MAN LAIR.

Look comfortable to you?

Now I understand if that pillow you bought from K-Mart a year ago has lost its fluff and doesn’t quite live up to its end of the bargain anymore. It happens to the best of us. The answer is simple, don’t throw it away, put those two flat pillows into one pillow case. Now instead of two flat pillows, you have one pillow that has more packing. This will save you money since you won’t have to buy a new pillow every few months.


One comment on “Scourge of Masculinity: Throw Pillows

  1. Bya says:

    I LOVE that wreath! and the wodniw and the pillows. Heck, I just love it all. LOLI have NO idea about your limbs. I actually found a ‘recipe’ for making scented pine cones with the note about baking them. So I used that part of it. Possibly google and see if there is info for drying out limbs??? I would be interested in knowing!

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